Koran 1:1

In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

Koran 1:1

Note that I am assuming that Allah is perfect and is watching me and that I am in accordance with Allah’s will, according to Islamic doctrine.

As this is a book by Allah this sentence isn’t needed. This is a better replacement:

These are the perfect words of Allah.

A More Perfect Allah than Muhammad

Why? Because this is the Koran, the perfect words of Allah, and we all know that Allah is imaginary perfect. Then followed by:

Allah is merciful.

A More Perfect Allah than Muhammad

Why? Because repeating oneself is a sign of insecurity. Allah is secure and not insecure, and anything less than secure is imperfection. So obviously this is a better replacement that fits the assumptions of Muhammad:

These are the perfect words of Allah.

Allah is merciful.

A More Perfect Allah than Muhammad

Note that translation back into Arabic is a job best left to Allah’s divinely inspired writers of Arabic. As I’m obviously retarded (birth defect by the grace of Allah) and know only one language, I obviously can’t do this yet.

So the best replacement for this verse is “”, the empty sentence.