Testimony of Choc Choc

The real name of Choc Choc is private. I’ve made minor editing changes to protect privacy.

My Testimony

When I was 7 or 8 my mom sat me down after I had stated: “I know everything about Jesus”.

She asked me some questions and had me say some sort of Sinner’s prayer.

I got “saved”, I put it in quotations because obviously I wasn’t saved, I wasn’t told to repent or live for God or to read scripture, just, if I said that I would be saved. I was a false convert/lukewarm.

Fast forward to a few months ago, my anxiety was at its highest peak, I was convinced I needed a service dog. I held grudges & was unforgiving, I got so irritated with my sister and possibly hated her at one point. I watched porn, cussed online and quietly to myself, lied about the stupidest things and many more immoral things. Afraid of the dark and not able to close my eyes in the shower, and when I did, I freaked out thinking someone or something was watching me, waiting. It was very hard.

I believed somewhat in astral projection and zodiac signs, mediums, and fortune tellers. Not to mention I was suicidal almost every day and plotted to take myself out with oxycodone.

Then, someday in January or February, I went onto a completely random Youtube video “Oversleeping in 2050”. I checked the comments and to my surprise the comments were all new! I sorta guessed why the new comments and commented, shortly after, this guy named J (privacy) replied and explained why they were all new.

Then we started this like YouTube comments soldier thing where we tell people to “read b4 you comment :)”.A gal named A1 (privacy) got involved with us on our mission and it was quite fun! I asked if we had Discord, but it wouldn’t let me comment, so I commented on one of her YouTube videos. I actually posted a YouTube video too and J commented and asked for my Discord. I replied with my tag and also got A2’s tag. We got on Discord and everything was good. One night, A2 had mentioned something about Bible class or something- and then I found out A2 and J were both Christians!

I put “I’m a Christian” on my status, A2 DMed me and asked “you’re a Christian?” I said yeah and then proceeded to apologize for cursing, I wanted to fit in, (cursing was an addiction and I thought I sounded cool LOL) I discussed it with A2 and J, I found myself wanting to know more about the Bible.

So I asked God to save me, but I didn’t really believe I was saved, or, at least I had major doubts, so I ended up saying that over and over, with the meaning stripped from it.

When I moved into an apartment complex, I started watching this YouTube channel namely called “Gabe Poirot” that I had previously seen his Tiktoks, was interesting, but didn’t end up watching his videos until I moved. (I don’t watch him anymore though.)
I started watching him and he had a video called “How to know for sure you are going to Heaven”. I watched, and at the end he provided a time to ask God to save you. (Yes, I know you can’t get saved for praying.) Again, I found myself saying that prayer over and over again. Every time I thought, “I’m going to be saved!” Just to be brought down by doubt and worry over and over.

Until, one night, I finally asked God “Am I saved?” I asked that twice, then went onto Tiktok to see that Gabe was live, so I clicked and what do you know? It was about doubts on salvation! Again, at the end I asked God to save me, but this time was different, this time I had some peace, I actually believed it this time! Ask and you shall receive in Jesus Name. Though, the doubts still pursued, like “You said this so many times before, you don’t trust God!”

“:0 You doubted?? Pffft. You aren’t saved.”

I simply just had to tell God these things.

Throughout this time I’ve had tremendously less anxiety than I had before Christ, got to stop all my addictions, even told my mom that I watched porn! Depression was, like, it never happened. (Though I still get depressing thoughts occasionally) I started to care about God, I started repenting (which I didn’t do as a lukewarm/false convert.) Moreover, God saved me, not because I’m better or more “worthy” but, because of his love and grace.

This is my testimony and I hope it has blessed you like it has blessed me.