Qur’an 23:31-41

A Qur’an Like It.

Here’s the Sahih International translation:

23:31 Then We produced after them a generation of others.

32 And We sent among them a messenger from themselves, [saying], “Worship Allāh; you have no deity other than Him; then will you not fear Him?”

33 And the eminent among his people who disbelieved and denied the meeting of the Hereafter while We had given them luxury in the worldly life said, “This is not but a man like yourselves. He eats of that from which you eat and drinks of what you drink.

34 And if you should obey a man like yourselves, indeed, you would then be losers.

35 Does he promise you that when you have died and become dust and bones that you will be brought forth [once more]?

36 How far, how far, is that which you are promised.

37 It [i.e., life] is not but our worldly life – we die and live, but we will not be resurrected.

38 He is not but a man who has invented a lie about Allāh, and we will not believe him.”

39 He said, “My Lord, support me because they have denied me.”

40 [Allāh] said, “After a little, they will surely become regretful.”

41 So the shriek seized them in truth, and We made them as [plant] stubble.

Then away with the wrongdoing people.

Koran 23:31-41

Here’s my improved version:

23:31 Humans reproduce. Allah does nothing.

32 One woman gave birth to a madman called Muhammad. Allah did nothing.

33 Allah gives luxuries to Muhammad’s enemies. Good to know – I expect a new Bugatti Veyron from Allah to arrive any minute now.

34 Why obey Muhammad, when being an enemy of Muhammad results in many luxuries? Like the Bugatti Veyron that I’m sure will arrive soon.

35 Notice that Muhammad, his Muslims and their enemies are dust in the grave.

36 In other words, Muhammad was lying.

37 The Eminent was right. He, his tribe, Muhammad and the Muslims were never resurrected. Allah does nothing.

38 I agree with Eminent that Muhammad was a liar.

39 Allah did nothing.

40 Muhammad mutters a threat, as idols do not speak.

41 Allah did nothing.

Qur’an 23:31-41

As I’ve produced a better verse than Muhammad, this shows Muhammad is Allah, Allah is Muhammad, the Koran comes from Muhammad (and friends), and Islam is false.