Koran 23:57-61

23:57 Indeed, they who are apprehensive from fear of their Lord

58 And they who believe in the signs of their Lord

59 And they who do not associate anything with their Lord

60 And they who give what they give while their hearts are fearful because they will be returning to their Lord –

61 It is those who hasten to good deeds, and they outstrip [others] therein.

Koran 23:57-61

Muhammad, in his Koran, addresses a sentence, verse, or passage to “Anonymous They”, with “they”, “them”, “he”, “your”, “the people”, and so on, without naming them. For more, read Anonymous They.

But, Infidel, it’s obvious, your anonymous “they” are Muslims! Let’s assume so then. Why didn’t Muhammad name the “they” as Muslims and have this definition be in one place instead of repeated through his Koran? Also note the lack of the shahada again, despite Pharaoh (Muhammad) making up his own one:

90 And We took the Children of Israel across the sea, and Pharaoh and his soldiers pursued them in tyranny and enmity until, when drowning overtook him, he said, “I believe that there is no deity except that in whom the Children of Israel believe, and I am of the Muslims.”

Koran 10:90

Also look at the motivation Muhammad wants Allah’s his followers to have, “apprehensive from fear” in verse 57. That’s different from Judaism and Christianity which are motivated by love.

Note that the “signs” actually refer to verses of Muhammad’s recitation, not to the signs of Allah in the universe.

Also, who is “their Lord”? Why not write Allah, it’s easier? Or better, “me”. Or what about, spoken from the viewpoints of a real god:

58 Those see me,

23:57 those love me,

60 those do good,

61 those do good!

Pretend Allah, Koran 23:57-61

As you can see, shorter, easier to say and write, has better rhythm, and no need for association as there are no others with “Allah”, right? And this only took me a few minutes to work out, and I’m not divine.

But, Infidel, you swapped verses 57 and 58! To love, one has to see and so know first.

But, Infidel, you missed verse 59! It’s not needed. After all, there are no other gods with Allah, right? So, to even imply that there’s none, shows it’s forbidden. My version shows there’s no need to have associates – as this would waste people’s time, in making them, worshipping them, sacrificing to them, walking around them seven times, throwing stones at them, kissing and licking stones. But, if you want, I can add in better:

The followers of Allah get 3 sons, 19 grandsons, a gilded swimming pool and a Bugatti Veyron in the mail! Not the disbelievers!

Pretend Allah, Koran 23:59

But, Infidel, you repeated verse 60 as verse 61! It’s for emphasis and rhythm and to emphasize that those who do good will be given good, you know, like 3 sons, 19 grandsons, a gilded swimming pool and a Bugatti Veyron in the mail.

But, Infidel, if all we Muslims get a Bugatti Veyron, who will teach our sons and daughters how to drive such a powerful sports car?! Allah will! You recall that Allah teaches, right?

But, Infidel, you forgot “Muslim”! Like Muhammad forgot it.

In this passage, I’ve removed the need to believe entirely, got rid of the mention of “your Lord”, and made Allah independent of the Koran, as logically, if real, he should be, and I’ve removed the need to believe in the Koran, or Muhammad. Instead, it’s possible to read my passage from the universe with insight and reflection, and by experiment, doing evil, seeing no reward, doing good and seeing the reward.

In short, Muhammad was a blowhard, speaking long about nothing, instead of producing short, insightful words and sentences, demonstrating the wisdom of Allah.

The best replacement for this passage is: “”, the empty sentence.